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    紙短情長,叫我如何去安放

    時間:2018-09-08    來源:www.chcompsol.com    作者:傻的可以  閱讀:

    “經不住似水流年,

    逃不過此間少年

    花開再謝,人來又走

    假如注定是過客

    起初何必去招惹

    ——題記”


     
    紙短情長,叫我如何去安放_www.chcompsol.com
     

    仿佛是一個遙遠的故事

    遙遠到小城里偶然有人提前他的時候,只留下一句,哦呦那個他呀,客死他鄉了。

    說者猶如巷口說書的老藝人,一字一句,回味悠長,聽者磕磕手中冒著煙的旱煙袋,目光所及之處,是漫無邊際的悵惘。

    我出生在北方的一個小城,一個十一月尚未到來,卻可以透過窗戶看見12月大雪紛飛的小城。

    haiyawenxue

    小時候我家隔壁住著一個漂亮的姐姐,烏黑的長發,及腰的辮子,我曾一度懷疑周春波名叫《小芳》歌兒唱的就是她,但明顯她們不是一個年代的,隔壁姐姐也不叫小芳她叫小雅。

    小雅家門口有一條蜿蜒的小溪,小溪對面四合院內住著一戶人家,老大叔是年輕時候從開封入贅過來的女婿,老大媽是本本分分的小城人家,他們膝下有一個生的俊俏的兒子叫大山,我很小的時候,從來搞不明白為什么小雅姐姐總是教我對她爸爸媽媽撒謊說她在我家陪我寫作業,實際上姐姐老早就溜去小溪對面,說是去采花,什么山丹丹花啊,鳶尾花啊,小菊花啊,野百合啊等等,凡是應季的花,都被她用來當做過讓我幫她圓謊的借口。

    長大后,我終于明白了,溪對面,并沒有那么多品種的花,只有一個眉宇間藏著薄霧的小伙兒大山。

    再后來我也漸漸的明白,郎騎竹馬來,繞床弄青梅的青澀愛情,講的也許就是她們吧。

    紙短情長,叫我如何去安放_www.chcompsol.com
     

    -1-

    水蓮花開放的季節,太陽強烈,水波溫柔。

    如大山。

    如小雅。

    那些個青澀的,純真的青春年華里,他們的愛情像極了山楂樹之戀。小城里所有的人也都以為,他們以后會成為幸福的一對璧人。我也篤定認為,小雅一定會嫁個大山,然后安安穩穩的過一輩子房前種花屋后種瓜的小日子。

    高中那年,我住校了不經常回家,也很少再看見她了。小雅大我幾屆早早的大學畢業,聽說拍完畢業照之后在一個榴花盛開的午后乘上了南去的列車。從那以后故鄉對于她來說漸漸的變成了只有秋冬再無春夏。

    大山選擇留守在小城一邊兒工作一邊兒照顧年邁的父母,也順帶照應著小雅的家人。后來大山的父母相繼病逝,大山收拾好所有的悲傷,鎖了四合院去了南方,可是沒有過多久,大山就一個人又回到了小城,從那以后,再也沒有人見過他的笑容了。

    從來也沒有人知道大山和小雅之間發生了什么。

    明明彼此最深愛,可是好像最終還是要錯過了。

    紙短情長,叫我如何去安放_www.chcompsol.com
     

    -2-

    大山從南方回來之后,變了個人似的,不愛笑,不愛說話,整日整日的沉迷于游戲和酒精,那一年的冬天特別冷,春天來的也比往年晚一些,三四月份了才有大片大片的桃花盛開,我站在老屋前,透過大片的緋紅色看見小雅從路的那頭緩緩歸來,同行的還有個白凈的先生,小雅看白先生的眼神是我從未見過的溫柔,就猶如對方眼里有星辰大海春暖花開一樣,這一刻,我明白了,這或許就是愛一個的樣子吧,而大山,難道只是小雅青春里的一道風景?而那或許叫做喜歡吧。

    haiyawenxue

    愛和喜歡,是有區別的。

    在一個點燈時分,大山借著坡上薄紗的月光離開了小城,那是小雅回家的第二天,他們隔著溪水遠遠的對望了一眼。風吹起細沙不小心揉碎在眼間,有人落淚了,有人視線模糊了沒有看見。

    風好大,吹落了滿樹桃花。

    -3-

    大山后來落腳在了山西,聽說那里產礦,他入贅到了一個家里有礦的富裕人家,也算過了幾年好時光,他勤勞睿智,謙虛上進,深得家人喜歡。北方的小城他也再也沒有回來過了,直到最后請進來,也只有一捧灰燼了。

    2005年夏天,他出了一場車禍,年輕的生命就這樣在他鄉畫上句號,銀色的翻蓋手機里有最后一條未發送的短信,收件人是小雅。

    短信上只有簡短是幾行字:

    “時光總是那么的無情,

    帶走了最初的悸動,

    留下的卻是面對世界的滿目滄桑,如果有來生,我想娶你。”

    誰都不知道那一年大山去南方到底發生了什么,所有人都以為是小雅背棄了當初的年少時純真的諾言。所有的都成了謎一樣隨著大山生命的結束畫上句號。

    只有小雅,他知道那一夜南方的燈紅酒綠下,她僅僅是陪同事們慶生,卻不小心撞見尷尬的一幕,從那個時候,他們似乎就偏離了最初的軌跡。大山去找小雅的時候誤以為和她一起的男同事是在追小雅,不分青紅皂白的上去胖揍了男同事,男同事由于傷情過重,大山被拘留,是小雅傾其所有保釋了大山。

    后來大山就在南方同小雅不辭而別。

    再后來的事情,就是又過了幾年,他們各自成家,和彼此的愛人演繹著旁人看不懂的深情。

    紙短情長,叫我如何去安放_www.chcompsol.com
     

    -4-

    青梅枯萎。

    竹馬死去。

    小雅在得知大山出意外的那一刻,她突然意識到,那個兒時的伙伴,那個年少的白襯衫,那個偉岸的身影,那個曾經自以為的可以相隨到老直到白發蒼蒼的人,就這樣離開了人世間,此生甚至連一句“祝你幸福太難那就祝你平安的”都無法說出口了。那個人,再也不會回來了,再也不會活生生的出現在小城的四合院里了。

    河對面的院子里,雜草叢生,荒蕪的像個冢,一顆光禿禿的柿子樹上,幾個紅透了的果子孤零零的掛著枝頭任由來來往往的鳥兒叼啄。

    小雅在無數個凌晨三點醒來,想起了失去的他。一幕幕的回憶起多年以前大山去南方找她情景。初來的大山找工作屢屢碰壁,性情變得很狂躁、自卑、焦慮,總是患得患失,他一度認為是自己給不了小雅幸福的生活,又不想讓小雅這一輩子都跟著自己受苦,當他一次次提出分手和又悔恨和惱怒,這樣的情緒長久積壓下來,終于在一次偶然的時間爆發了,就是那次小雅和同事慶生的那晚,因為小雅為了讓大山免除牢獄之災,花光了自己的所有積蓄,不得已的情況下接受了一直在對自己照顧有加的好朋友的資助。后來,大山還是狠心的離開了南方的。后來,小雅一氣之下,嫁給了資助自己愛慕自己的白先生。

    城市滿目璀璨,卻留不住想要留的人。

    如果說那一刻,小雅跟著大山一起回了北方的小城,結局會是怎樣?

    如果說那一刻,小雅強行留住大山,苦苦哀求,結局又會是怎么?

    那樣是不是他就不會遠走礦區,是不是就不會卷入那場有錢人之間的明爭暗斗,或許也就不會出現那場看似意外的車禍而死于非命?

    以前總以為人生最美好的是重逢,后來才明白,其實難得的是珍惜。

    紙短情長,叫我如何去安放_www.chcompsol.com
     

    -5-

    假如別來無恙意味著問候與保重,

    但此前經年早已迷失與錯過。

    曾經的紙短情長,如今卻無處安放

    只愿來生,你別來,我無恙。

    文:傻的可以

    部分圖片來源于網絡

    常駐網站:海崖文學網

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