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    歡迎訪問海崖學網 您還沒有 [ 登錄 ] [ 注冊 ]

    美麗的憂傷

    時間:2019-06-09    來源:未知    作者:美文網  閱讀:

    電風扇輕柔的風吹在身上涼涼的,很愜意。液體驅蚊器散發出淡淡的幽香,亦催人萎糜。本是個很好入夢的夜晚,不知道為什么,我卻失眠了,輾轉反側之余,索性點亮床頭的燈,隨手拿起枕邊放了多時的《尋秦記》,希望書能讓我紛亂的思緒安靜下來。

    書中的主人公項少龍偉岸、英武,且智慧超群、所向無敵,身邊的知己紅顏更是讓人艷羨不已。其實我對于諸如此類的玄幻小說一向不感興趣,過于離譜的成人童話早已不能讓我歷經蒼桑的心緒有所騷動。突然聯想到十幾年前在看《荷馬史詩》時,讀到英勇的阿喀琉斯被一支阿波羅之箭射中了腳后跟后,我的心似乎也中一箭,那種感覺很徹骨、很疼痛,以至于當時我不得不放下書來平緩心態,那時的我對現實的感悟、對人生的態度、對情感的心境與現在實在太不相同了。可是今晚為什么難以入睡呢?哦,終于明白了源頭所在。白天去武昌中南醫院看了老施,他的淋巴癌已到了晚期,且擴散了。當他的夫人望著我和同去的老韋悲痛欲絕地啼哭時,我的心揪得緊緊的,一股混濁的液體亦涌上了眼眶。是了,老施和項少龍、阿喀琉斯一樣,都曾瀟灑過、風光過,他們之間并沒有任何的聯系,但是在上帝手中,在冥冥中卻有著相似的命運結局。老施生長在一個富足、博愛的家庭,多年來一直享受的父母、兄姐的關愛、妻子的呵護、朋友的尊重,很少有擔心著急的時候,工作上也很淡薄、散漫,屬于那種“看得徹透”的人物。圈子里口碑很高:“重情講義,廣結廣交,夠朋友。”多年來一直忙碌于應酬、應付、應對、應變之中,風流倜儻,縱橫捭闔。共事兩年,頗為融洽,談心交往,觥幬交錯中情感日深。誰曾想會得病,而且一經診斷便是重病。天妒福人,嗚呼何為?

    生與死的過程是點對點的距離,誰也不知道它究竟有多長,最終會終止在哪里。對人來說,它是美麗的,更是殘忍的。想到前幾天老施和我們還在一起,夾著包,叼著煙,調侃笑謔,躊躇滿志的樣子,短短幾天的時光,見面竟恍若隔世,真的讓人難以接受。躺在床上,回憶著從二00四年我們一起開始共事的場場景景……一絲透明的寂寞,一縷隱隱的哀痛,一股難言的傷感如潮水般蔓延開來。阿喀琉斯的弱點是他的腳后跟,老施的弱點是他生活規律的紊亂,而我的弱點是怕這感傷和寂寞的心緒。因為在寂寞里,我才會想到生死,想到情殤,想到孤獨,想到起落,想到我自己。

    明天是種希望,雖然不可測,但對一個有生命渴望的人來說,它就像還沒有開放的花。等待的美麗,常常是醉心的。老施現在的心情我可以想像,非常同情,由此我突然感悟到了人性的孤獨,它在我腦海的產生是詭異的,它是自我和世界的分離,沒有緣由,卻左右著人,拉扯著人奔向某個棲息的地方。

    生死是自然規律,是任何人也抵擋不住的過程,就像海浪,沒有高潮就不會凹現低谷。

    haiyawenxue

    總是會在看見或遇到某些人、某些事時,在唏噓感嘆里會有濃濃的郁抑和憂傷。

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